Mammasaurus Poem #1 – Mothers Ruin (aka Thank F*ck it’s Bedtime)

"I've been so lucky to be involved in the Britmum blog swap and also to be partnered with the fabulously funny Mammasaurus.  So read her rioting poem below enjoy and go and visit her, follow her and laugh at her wonderful blogs - Mamasaurus its a pleasure!"

 I shout but no one listens

I call but no one cares
But open up a bag of crisps
And they come bombing down the stairs

 I cook but get no thank you

And iron and hoover too
But open up some biscuits
And they’ll say ‘I love you’

And when their noses snotty

And it’s turned fluorescent green
I’m the lucky bugger
Who gets to wipe them clean
 
I read 6 stories every night
And then I get some cuddles
But after that I’m back downstairs
Tidying their muddles
It’s a never ending battle

I know I’ll never win

And that’s why every other night
You’ll find me drinking gin :)

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Howdy! I am Mammasaurus, mother or 8, lover of gin.If your children are clean, well mannered perfect angels then you may want to pop a handful of valium and swig a large mouthful of gin as you’ll read of no such kiddies on my blog.
The children there are mainly a happy, imaginative bunch of mischief adoring, mayhem embracing monsters.
If you have ever taken your pre-schoolers along to a play date only to find that while others kids seem to sit quietly playing whilst yours are causing havoc,running about with breadsticks up their noses and generally giving you a mini-migraine in the process then this blog is for you.
For fellow mummies and daddies who have sat in an A&E ward next to your beautiful first born who has a lego mans arm wedged firmly up his nose requiring probable surgical removal – I salute you !

Keep it real – mess happens,accidents happen and patience gets tested but if your children are still smiling then you are doing a good job…